Attached below is a Pdf of ’emails from my parents’ and my responses.
(Below are shorter versions of the above document).
I feel for things to change in families and for God’s love to rule our hearts that we need to be transparent about what actually goes on between parents and children. I feel the following interactions are an example of a very out of balance addictive based relationship between a daughter (me) and her parents (mum, dad & step-mum).
I feel that families need to get real about what they are and are not and the only way to do that is to be truthful, transparent and self responsible. Stop blaming others – both parents and children and start feeling and making personal choices to love in a real way. Stop the lies, stop ‘brushing stuff under the carpet’ or not mentioning ‘the elephant in the room’ as the sayings go.
Yes it is confronting – at first, (then it becomes a relief and wonderful). Yes it is painful – for a time, because everything that has been stuffed down deep to hide it, all the shame, guilt, fear, anger, all the feelings that we fear and are ‘messy’ are exposed and there is a process to go through to sort these out, but it can be done and when it is, wow, that will be a thing to celebrate. I have only begun this process, dabbled in it and my life is the best it has been yet and it is not even great – yet. The Truth sets you free! Ironically once the Truth is felt, or even said out loud, it is a relief as mostly everyone knew it was going on or could feel it anyway but it remained unsaid causing more and more pain, damage and suffering.
The anecdote to fear is Truth. Fear destroys. I know this for certain. Truth and Love allow the opportunity to grow in an infinitely positive direction. There is so much to be gained, so much to be discovered and found and healed in truly wanting to love in a real way!
I firmly believe, based on my personal experience, that until we are honest with what is really going on in ‘our’ families – between parents and children – and we want to make the choice to Love and change for ourselves, we cannot love nor change. There is so much abuse and pain created in children by the childhood environment – especially by parents & family. The wonderful thing is that this can change if we desire to Love and act in harmony with love!
I increasingly feel that it is possible to have a loving family environment on earth – as God intended – and I am passionate about being honest about how families are right now in order to change and grow in a positive direction. To encourage parents and children to be truthful, self responsible, and to love in a real way, in harmony with how God loves.
I feel the email correspondence highlights how my parents, and families in general, have seriously distorted ideas of ‘love’ they uphold and how when family addictions are challenged how attackingly family members respond to those that do not conform.
In this case I see the correspondence between my parents and I as a clear example of ‘invested parents turned nasty when child doesn’t do as parent’s expect and demand’.
The following is the correspondence and interactions with my parents over the last years.
There are things that my parents and siblings have said to me, about myself, that are true and I have taken those into consideration, and felt, continue to feel about and examine those things about myself.
There is also a lot that has been said that is harsh, condescending, dismissive and attacking and completely untrue in what they feel and accuse me and others of.
Click below to take you to the Pdf:
The emails follow on from one another in the following order: Mum, Dad, Jackie – Step-mum. (Below are shorter versions of the above document).